Because …

          Ford now connects everything with because.  “Hi Dr. Braye!  Because I have a cough.”  “I don’t want to go potty!  because I don’t want to!”  It’s so stinking cute that I don’t want to correct his grammar and explain the properties of because.  Time is slipping away from me–He’s three years old. Three.  He’s already asked for a hammer 5 times this morning after being awake for 20 minutes.

         I’m not sure where the time went but I know my job is to raise my sons so they don’t need me.  Really?  They need to be independent men. gulp.  So even though I hug them tightly, I need to push them to do things on their own.  I am supposed to work myself out of a job.  But today-this minute-I have two little boys running around in feety pajamas.  I am memorizing this moment because it soon will fade. -Because.

Promise Unkept

           OK- So I didn’t exactly blog everyday.  I took a two month hiatus and didn’t feel any better or relish that extra time I had.  So-back to blogging and releasing my life into the eletronic universe.  I didn’t start this thing to do anything but find something to do for me.  We moms serve a ton and between folding landry and wiping noses we loose ourselves.  I really think we are told somewhere down the line that life’s supposed to be like that.  You birth children=you take yourself out of the equation.

              Nothing good can come from that.  Nothing.  As mothers slowly fade into the background of their family and gain weight-our families suffer.  My family’s well being depends upon mine.  If I really love my two boys, dog and husband like I say I do-than I must start starring in my own life.  I was not destined to be a best friend in the movie of my existence.  Leading ladies are not allowed to give up on themselves.

                If motherhood makes me a martyr–than I have to find my way out!  There’s got to be a way to be a mom, laugh continually and live in the chaos of our household.  Today-this minute-I refuse to succomb to the current victimization of motherhood.  Oh, poor mothers, they have to . . . .  I am a mommy!  Only two boys in the entire world can call me that and it is my honor and joy.  (not every single moment–but)  Yes-my kids may both be screaming in the grocery store but we’ll get in the van and everything will be fine.  Yes–a may have to deal with poop more than most zookeepers but soon they won’t need me as much.  I am a mommy!! I better start taking care of Ford and Cooper’s mommy.  She needs it.

Laundry

It’s a vicious cycle. You wear clothes, they have to cleaned, sorted, folded and put away. There are only four people and a dog in our house and it feels like we have 15 people. I swear-I do so much laundry that I feel like I am hiking a mountain of fruit of the looms daily.
I keep thinking that if I do one load a day I will keep up but that stuff multiplies in there. I stay up till midnight- folding folding, folding and I still have nothing to wear!
If you ever hear of someone drowning by laundry–it’s me.

My Precious Ford

Every night we pray with Ford and he prays after we say a phrase. Now he prays on his own without prompting from us and he lists all the things he is thankful for. Thank you for “Lightning McQueen”, “Chick Hicks”, and my bear. He also prays for the missionaries in the Carribean region from cards we got at the general assembly in the Church of the Nazarene. Tonight, he remembered all of the missionaries’ names and their countries without any prompting from us. As I go to sleep tonight, I will hear his sweet little voice saying. . .”Dear Jesus, Please help Ronnie Pupo in Cuba in the Church of the Nazarene”

stress level

          Whew! I cannot find a way to totally decompress. Today was supposed to be easy-just preparing some stuff for Sunday-sermon done-nothing on the schedule. Both boys seemed to take cranky pills with their oatmeal this morning and just had no paitience. We went to a used book store and I bought Ford “Mouse Paint” and we were going to follow up the book by mixing colors.  I was going to get a gold medal in the mommy olympics and Ford would spontaneously say “I think you’re the best mommy in the world!”  These were my wishes.

             Ford threw a fit, wanted to read the Mouse Paint book 500 times, and Cooper just decided to cry for an entire hour.  No mommy-of-the-year award came and I found myself  so overwhelemd I couldn’t even make a to-do list.

Good grief!  Is there a formula for being less stressed out all the time?

Weird Wonderful Life

          There’s a walker in the church office.  It’s for my six month old, Cooper.  He coos and drools while I talk to people on the phone about who’s teaching Sunday School.  With one hand, I catch spit up with a burp rag while opening a hymn book to plan worship services.

           We mop the curch floor while talking about the teen group on Wednesday where Devin and I both met a former gang member trying to get his life back on track.  Ford, our three year old, has to have a mop because he still thinks it’s super fun to help daddy. 

         I practice a solo on the platform while Ford flies a new foam plane down the empty aisles of the sanctuary.  This life is weird–filled with contradictory images I could not create on my own.  What a wonderful journey the Lord is walking with me!

Why I am starting a blog

                 For me-journaling is like drinking my perfectly brewed coffee in the morning: it is essential.  I am a mother of two boys under three and a senior co-pastor at a church (where I work with the other pastor, my husband).  My journaling has almost completely stopped because I’ve been folding laundry or visiting someone at the hospital.  What if I have no record of this part of my life?  How will anyone ever make a complete movie about me?  I will blog.

             OK-all of that isn’t exactly true.  I saw Julie and Julia 2 times and was inspired to start writing.  My goal is to write on this blog EVERY SINGLE DAY for this year.  I know I will be a better mom, wife, and pastor. I hope?